Should you get married or simply live together?
Recently, I heard a conversation between two people who really got my attention. The first person said, “I know people who have to live together because they can’t afford to marry. They would lose their benefits. This is especially true of seniors.” The other person said, “Yes, I know! Carl and I couldn’t afford to be together if we got married. And, there are going to be a LOT more people living together because of the economy.”
I sat and listened and am sorry to say didn’t speak up. I should have said, “But, they are living in sin! Is it better to live in sin than to please God?”
Gen 2:24 NASB
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
God cannot bless these kinds of relationships. People wonder why they have so many problems and a lot of it is because they are thumbing their noses at God.
Many couples today are living together. They have children and when they tire of each other they think they can move on. This is not how God planned our relationships.
Several years ago my friend and I fell in love with each other and wanted to marry. We had to count the cost. For me it meant that I would lose my disability payments along with medical coverage. That was a big deal! For him it meant he would have to take on more responsibilities and provide for the two of us. He was retired at the time and would have to go back to work.
We talked to others about our situation, and I was shocked to learn that even Christians told us that we should move in together. “Other Christians are doing the same thing,” they said. “God understands.” Does He? He ordained marriage and it is to be the norm. When we live together we live in sin and are out of God’s will.
Mat 19:4-6 NASB And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, (5) and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? (6) “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Jesus himself said these words, and the parts in all caps are taken right from Genesis 2:24. Way back in the beginning God ordained marriage.
We prayed about our situation and came to the conclusion that God wanted us to marry. That was His will. We weren’t going to entertain anything else. We thought about my husband’s children and grandchildren. What kind of testimony would it be if we lived together? Could we expect more from them down the road?
Then, we counted the cost financially. We came up short. We would not have enough money to manage our marriage. Finally, we decided we would follow God’s will and get married anyway. We didn’t care if some of our friends thought we were crazy getting married at our age. We would trust God with the rest. We wanted to do things right!
God came through for us. He didn’t let us down. He blessed us with enough money to meet our needs and more. He blessed our marriage in so many ways and gave us peace knowing we did the right thing.
How could God have blessed us if we had decided just to live together? He couldn’t, because it would have gone against His will. There are consequences to sin.
I don’t know your situation, but if you are at this blog site it’s most likely because you have anxiety and/or panic attacks. If so, and you are in a relationship where you are living with someone of the opposite sex, then you need to repent and either get out of that relationship, or get married. If you are a Christian, God cannot bless you if you are living in sin. He wants you to get right with Him. If you are experiencing panic attacks or extreme anxiety or depression perhaps God has allowed this to get your attention. God loves us and wants the very best for us. Would you want your child doing things that were against your will for them? God wants us to obey His word, and when we don’t He disciplines us just as a loving father disciplines his children.
Do you realize that a sexual relationship outside of marriage is sinful? In the Bible it is called immorality.
1Th 4:3 NASB
For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality;
1Co_6:18
Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.
I don’t know you, if you are young or older, but if you are considering living together instead of getting married please reconsider and look into the Word for direction. Living together may seem to be an acceptable lifestyle in our society, but it isn’t with God. You will be blessed if you follow God.
hatchcreek.com Bible blog 
Good article and extremely prevalent for today and not only for unbelievers but even more so for some professing Christians who are either ignorant of the scriptures or who are not being taught correctly in their Church fellowship. The Bible plainly teaches that anything short of sexual relations outside of marriage is forbidden and there are more than ample scriptures which teach and reinforce this principle. There are even warnings about ‘fornication’ which is having sexual relations outside of marriage and the severe consequences of living that kind of relationship and the dire consequences if you die in that relationship ‘that you will not inherit the kingdom of God.’ I personally know of some professing Christians who are living in fornication and attend Church without any apparent change in their lifestyle. It really makes me wonder about what is being aught from some pulpits and what kind of relationship some professing believers have with Jesus!
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Thank you Malcolm for your comments. I totally agree with you. You are exactly right. You hit on one of my pet peeves too. I know of people who are living together in a marriage type relationship, but they are not married. They attend church, act like they are the most righteous people around. I just don’t get it. Either they are not really Christians, because I don’t think true Christians could live that way and be at peace, or they are just plain ignorant of the Bible. In that case, I have to put some of the blame on the pastors. What are they teaching them? I think many people just want to have their ears tickled and do not want to hear the truth about sin and repentance.
Also, in these kind of situations shouldn’t the pastors approach these people and let them know they are living in sin? Do these pastors allow these people to teach and lead? I know that wouldn’t happen in the church I go to and I’m proud of that.
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Yes! I agree I don’t really understand it either. It seems to me that there is a vast majority of Churches they are not really preaching the truth from the word of God for either fear of offending those in the pews and hence losing members of the Church and therefore losing money in the offering! Or the vast majority of those behind pulpits are not true pastors but hirelings who don’t really care about God’s sheep! There are a vast amount of ‘professing Christians’ who live in ‘fornication’ relationships who attend Church week in and week out and even hold down leadership positions and are either not aware of the plain teaching of scripture on the sin of fornication and the dire consequences of that lifestyle. It really baffles me as do many practices in modern day Church life which do not add up to the teachings of Holy Scripture. I think there are too many wolves amongst the sheep. However I believe in my heart that God will have His way and He is building His Church without spot wrinkle or blemish even if it does not seem that way sometimes to the natural eye. I keep reminding myself that I walk by faith and not by sight!
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Amen!! You are so right Malcolm! We need to pray for the churches and for the pastors. I’m privileged to be in a Bible church where the word of God is given out verse by verse and in context. Our pastor does not pick and choose the scriptures that will “tickle our ears,” but deals with them all as we come to them. We are uplifted and challenged.
Thank God for pastors like that! It seems there are fewer and fewer of them today. So many just want to be popular and like you said are so afraid of offending anyone. Yes, I do believe some are in it for the money also, like you said, hirelings.
I pray that people who are in these modern churches that do not put the Bible first, preaching it in season and out of season, the whole counsel of God, that they get out of them and find a true Bible church that does. They are out there, but sometimes difficult to find. A lot of times they are small.
God is still in control and He is sovereign over His church. Like you stated we must walk by faith and not by sight.
Thanks for your great comments.
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